Written by Marijn Overvest | Reviewed by Sjoerd Goedhart | Fact Checked by Ruud Emonds | Our editorial policy

The 20 Most Common Negotiation Mythsthat People Believe

Now that we’re done talking about why negotiation myths still exist, it’s time to break down the most common negotiation myths that people believe. Have a look at the following negotiation myths and determine if you’ve encountered any of them! If you find yourself believing any of these myths, search for our Negotiation Course For Procurement Professionals, enroll, and learn about the most modern negotiation techniques.

1. People are Born Great Negotiators 

Well, if this were true, then there’d be no need for negotiation books, right? But there are thousands of them and each year, these books are revised by someone else or an entirely new series is introduced. This can only lead to one thing; people are not born as great negotiators. Human beings are just far too complex; we might be easy to read on one aspect of our lives, it won’t be the same with another.

The ability to negotiate without problems takes months, years even. And even if you did take the most advanced negotiation classes on earth, there is still a chance that you will not get what you want. While skills are important, there is also the emotional factor. You certainly need guts and intelligence to be able to negotiate like a pro. And those are things that most humans are not built with automatically.

2. Nice Negotiators Finish Last

Another popular myth among negotiators is the fact that the nice negotiators are the ones who get left behind. To become the best negotiator, you have to be aggressive and mean. People often picture negotiators as people who are always hounding on other people to get what they want. Well, this myth is untrue.

There are many ways to negotiate and close a good or bad deal is all based on the circumstances for both parties. The accommodation negotiation style is one such style where the negotiator is particularly sensitive towards the other party. In short, it’s the Mr.Nice Guy type of negotiation. And if in case two parties really can’t come to a common understanding, in the end, concessions can be made. Again, acting the opposite to the hardball approach is not at all a bad tactic to apply in your negotiations. 

3. Someone Always Loses in Negotiation

Again, this is false. During negotiations, when two parties really can’t come to a common ground, there are always other ways for both parties to get something in the middle. This is usually in the form of concessions. If this myth were true, then some of the most controversial negotiations in history may have ended differently. Like the Cuban Missile Crisis. 

While your goal during a negotiation is to find a way to get the deal that you want, there are considerations to check. If the other party happens to be a company that you’d want to establish relations with in the future, then you want to give them a concession or two first so that they’ll feel grateful enough to give you a pass in the future. 

4. Negotiators Rely Solely on Intuition

As we often tell each other here in Procurement Tactics, we negotiate as part human beings and part machines. Just negotiating simply on intuition, without any form of preparation, is like walking inside a burning building drenched in gasoline. It’s a pure gamble that is bound to have serious consequences.

A professional negotiator is someone who walks in with all types of scenarios already written down in his/her head. He/She is the man/woman with the plan. Before the negotiations can start, a seasoned negotiator should already have disposed of every available resource he/she has to come up with information about the negotiations and the parties who are going to attend. Only with data can he/she come up with offers, counter-offers, and concessions should there be a need to raise one.

5. Negotiation Skills Can’t Be Learned; it’s either you have it or you don’t.

Okay, this is the most ridiculous myth out of the ten.

It is so ridiculous because it undermines the human capacity to think, learn and adapt. While it is true that not all people are born to be great negotiators, that is only due to one part of their personality. The other part has something to do with knowledge. People can learn and be trained to become the best negotiators in the world.

Even the best negotiators out there didn’t become successful until later in their careers. They too have their brush-ins with failure multiple times. Negotiations can be a tricky subject, but it is something that can be learned through perseverance, knowledge, and thousands of hours of practice!

6. Negotiating is easy. You can negotiate ahead without preparation as long as you know what’s being talked about

This is a very fatalistic approach towards negotiations because you are walking right into a trap. Negotiating without preparation is like you going to war without a weapon in hand. You need to be prepared to be able to tackle negotiations. How are you going to defend yourself against offers and counter-offers if you don’t have a clue as to what the other party is negotiating for?

7. When it comes to negotiation, you go directly to the point.

Nothing ruins a good negotiation like a negotiator who goes directly to the point of the matter. No, we’re not saying that being direct is a problem, but directly diving into the negotiation point is a surefire way to get yourself alienated by the other party. And once that happens, no one is going to listen to what you have to say. To be open about what you want is always a good idea, but don’t always rush it: if there is nothing to give away later in the negotiation, it will be harder to achieve your goal. 

8. To win a negotiation, all you do is push towards what you want. There is no room for give-and-take situations.

The rule of giving and taking concessions is a must during negotiations. To not break down negotiations after a lengthy and difficult discussion, a concession is always shown to give both parties a break. This break can be used to meet another time for re-negotiation or for thinking of other offers that can be brought to the table. If you don’t like the idea, then you are going to get a walk-away every single time.

9. During negotiations, winning is all that matters. Cultural backgrounds can be disregarded.

If you’re trying to become a world-class negotiator but you fail to understand cultural backgrounds, then you need some re-education. Cultural backgrounds play an important part in negotiations because many negotiation styles are incorporated with pieces of cultural background. For more info on the impact of culture on negotiations, see our article. 

10. When negotiating, it’s okay to be angry. Emotions are an integral part of negotiations.

Ah yes, the most common negotiation myth of all. We often see this in some movies, right? It’s always a wrong idea to mix in too many emotions while negotiating. You will most likely see yourself screaming, crying, or even flat-out walking away from a negotiation even if there’s no reason to. It’s a general rule to keep your emotions in check during negotiations. Always keep a cool head, but be passionate when delivering your offer or if you need to stir up the other party to take action or make a decision. In short, the key to negotiating effectively is to use your emotions at a moderate pace.

11. The Best Negotiator Always Has More Power

Many people believe that the party with more power automatically wins negotiations. Power can come from size, money, or authority, but it does not guarantee a favorable outcome. In some cases, excessive power can create resistance or defensive behavior from the other side. Poor use of power can even damage trust and long-term relationships.

Effective negotiators know how to leverage preparation, alternatives, and timing rather than relying solely on power. They focus on interests, not intimidation, to influence outcomes. Even weaker parties can succeed by understanding interests and creating value. Negotiation is more about strategy than dominance.

12. You Must Reveal as Little Information as Possible

A common myth is that sharing information always weakens your position. Many negotiators, therefore, choose secrecy over transparency. While careless disclosure can be risky, refusing to share anything can stall negotiations. Silence often leads to mistrust and missed opportunities.

Smart negotiators share information selectively and strategically. They distinguish between sensitive data and information that creates value. By revealing interests instead of positions, both sides can identify mutually beneficial solutions. Information, when used wisely, becomes an asset rather than a liability.

13. Good Negotiators Talk More Than They Listen

Many assume negotiation success depends on persuasive speaking. This belief leads negotiators to dominate conversations. In reality, excessive talking often leads to missed signals and misunderstandings. Listening is one of the most powerful negotiation skills.

By listening actively, negotiators uncover hidden needs and priorities. They also gain insights into the other party’s constraints and motivations. This allows them to tailor offers more effectively. The best negotiators speak less but influence more.

14. Preparation Limits Flexibility

Some believe that preparing too much makes negotiators rigid. They fear that plans will prevent them from adapting during discussions. This belief often leads to entering negotiations unprepared. As a result, negotiators rely on improvisation instead of strategy.

In truth, preparation increases flexibility. When negotiators understand scenarios, limits, and alternatives, they can adjust confidently. Preparation allows quick responses to unexpected moves. It provides freedom, not restriction.

15. Negotiation Is Only About Price

Price is often seen as the central issue in negotiations. This narrow view oversimplifies complex business discussions. It ignores other valuable elements such as delivery time, quality, service, and risk sharing. Focusing only on price can destroy potential value.

Successful negotiations explore multiple dimensions. Non-price factors often provide easier opportunities for compromise. These elements can be traded without significantly increasing costs. Expanding the discussion creates win-win outcomes.

16. The First Offer Always Sets the Final Outcome

Many negotiators fear making or receiving the first offer. They assume the first number permanently anchors the deal. This fear often causes hesitation and loss of initiative. While anchoring exists, it is not absolute.

Prepared negotiators can challenge or reframe any offer. They use data, logic, and alternatives to influence perception. Counteroffers and justification can shift the discussion. The final agreement depends on negotiation dynamics, not just the first move.

17. Experienced Negotiators Don’t Make Mistakes

There is a belief that expert negotiators always perform flawlessly. This myth creates unrealistic expectations. It also discourages learning from failure. In reality, mistakes are part of the learning process.

Even seasoned professionals misjudge situations or people. They may overlook information or misread intentions. What sets them apart is how they recover and adapt. Continuous learning is a hallmark of strong negotiators.

18. Deadlocks Mean the Negotiation Has Failed

A deadlock is often seen as the end of negotiations. Many assume that if talks stall, there is no possible agreement. This perception creates unnecessary pressure. It often leads to premature walkaways.

Deadlocks can signal unresolved interests or missing options. They can also indicate emotional or communication barriers. With creativity and patience, negotiators can reopen discussions. Sometimes, pauses lead to better outcomes later.

19. Negotiation Is Only for Sales and Procurement

Negotiation is commonly associated with business deals. This belief limits its perceived importance. People often overlook its role in everyday life. As a result, many fail to develop negotiation skills.

In reality, negotiation occurs in workplaces, families, and social situations. It appears in discussions about deadlines, responsibilities, and expectations. Even simple compromises involve negotiation principles. Mastering it improves both professional and personal outcomes.

20. The Goal of Negotiation Is to Win the Deal at Any Cost

Many believe success means winning at all costs. This mindset encourages aggressive and short-term behavior. It often ignores ethical and relational consequences. Over time, it damages credibility and relationships.

Effective negotiation focuses on sustainable agreements. Long-term value often matters more than immediate wins. Trust and reputation influence future negotiations. True success lies in outcomes that benefit all parties involved.

Why Do Negotiation Myths Exist?

Negotiation myths exist because negotiations are complex, uncertain, and often emotionally demanding. When people face pressure, conflict, or fear of failure, they look for simple explanations and shortcuts. These shortcuts turn into myths that appear logical but rarely reflect how negotiations actually work.

Many of the 20 negotiation myths discussed stem from oversimplification and outdated beliefs. Ideas such as “power always wins,” “someone must lose,” or “preparation limits flexibility” ignore the dynamic and strategic nature of modern negotiations. Such myths persist because they are easy to remember and reinforced by movies, anecdotes, and limited personal experience.

Ultimately, negotiation myths survive because they offer comfort rather than accuracy. Believing them reduces the effort needed to prepare, listen, and adapt. However, relying on myths instead of skills, data, and strategy often leads to poor outcomes or failed negotiations.

Conclusion

Now isn’t that a good question? Negotiations are hard, but it’s not difficult all the time, as opposed to the myths and misconceptions present.

For example, there’s no need to be aggressive and mean when you’re a negotiator because there are many ways to negotiate and close deals. In addition, there isn’t any “loser” or “winner” in negotiations. Rather, what happens when the two parties cannot come to a common ground, there are ways that they find just for both to get something in the middle.

Moreover, there are still so many negotiation myths out there that you should look out for. When you’re not vigilant enough to spot these, negotiations and negotiators’ll surely intimidate you, and that’s one thing you should avoid.

I have created a free-to-download negotiation preparation toolkit template. It’s a PowerPoint file that can help you navigate your next negotiation with confidence. I even created a video where I’ll explain how you can use this template.